Monday, April 4, 2011

A, B & C

My friend Joyce has been doing an A to Z April blogging challenge.  Each day, except Sundays, write a post that incorporates the letter of the day going in order from A to Z.  As usual, I am a few days behind and I had better hurry up and write this one before the power goes out - big storm headed this way.

Assessment

I wrote out my goals at the beginning of the year.  Well, now is time for a quarterly assessment and a reminder of what I promised myself I'd accomplish.

I started out strong with a daily time of devotion but there was a whole month where I just ignored it but I've been getting back to it over the last week.  

Brian and I haven't had a date in several weeks but I'd say we've gone on at least one date a month.

I've been running/exercising 3 to 6 days a week, I ran my first 5k (31:03!!!) and I got picked in the lottery for the Peachtree Road Race in July so I'll be training hard for that over the next few months.

 After my race

I sold the old dining table and chair, finished one quilt and started another and I got my scrapbook junk organized.

I've already read 2 books for the year: The Help by Kathryn Stockett and The Guy Not Taken by Jennifer Weiner.  And I've started reading my third book.

On the business end, I have started my photography business!  In order to do so I bought a more capable camera body and external hard drive, designed a logo and business cards, registered the business name and got my business license.  That last part was not easy.  It's the having to deal with government agencies part, after all.  

I had been told to go to Suite 150 at the Justice Center but the website said to go to Suite 370.  I found the building fine but Suite 370 is now a room for D.U.Is.  Wandered around for a few minutes looking for the Deeds & Records office and finally asked a woman behind a "welcome desk" for help.  I told her I needed to register a business name and get a business license.  She told me that had to be done in a different building located several miles away.  (Frustrating)  When I asked her for directions she, in typical Southern style, gave me a ton of landmarks but not one street name.

I got lost.

And I cried.

Forty minutes later I had finally found my way but was nearly home by then.  

While I was lost I felt like I was more than just looking for the right street names and for a way around - I was searching for something more. I found myself wondering, "Why do I want this?"  Is it silly for me to want it?  I wasn't sure.  The answer to my question came with a lump in my throat and with hot tears.  My answer to myself:  Validation.   

I wanted God to say to me, "But you don't need this for validation."

But I didn't hear that.  I didn't hear Him say anything.

What I heard was, "What you want is stupid."   BUT it wasn't God who said that because He would never say that.  Or at least He would never say it in that way.

I was the one who said it to myself.  Those were my words.  To myself.  But I kept on looking for the right building and I pushed myself to keep from giving up.  All the while, though, I was saying, "What you want is silly.  What you want is insignificant.  Isn't important.  No one else cares if you do this.  No one will be influenced or changed because of what you want."

But I kept driving.

I kept driving for me.  I kept driving for Cameron.  I kept driving for Anna.


Cameron has been having a tough time in his first year in Baseball.  He's been hit with a pitch twice.  He hasn't gotten even one hit.  Not even a foul ball.  But I want him to learn that things worth doing take time, practice and determination.  I don't want him to give up because it's hard.  He has a tendency, like his mother, to look for the easy way.  These are lessons he needs to learn now before he has a job, before he is married, before he has a big dream.

Anna made a mask out of a paper plate, some yarn, glue and buttons.  She proudly showed the mask to Cameron who made fun of it.  She was so upset and she tore the yarn off and went to her room and cried.  I held her on my lap and told her, "Baby, did you like your mask?  Because if you liked it then it doesn't matter what someone else says.  A lot of times you're going to do something or make something and someone else won't appreciate what you've done or made.  But you need to keep doing what you love and you need to ignore people who will make fun of those things. Keep being Creative and love what you've done"

It took 2 trips to each building and 4 1/2 hours instead of 1 hour but I got it done.  On Sunday I took 300+ pictures of our hike up to Amicalola Falls.  Only 7 of them are good.   But at least I have 7 good pictures and it's not going to stop me from doing what I love and loving what I've done.

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