Our Story - Year Ten

Mom moved in just after our ninth anniversary and we were all getting settled and setting boundaries and trying not to have too many expectations.  But not having any expectations of how a situation will look before it happens is tough and over the years we've had our ups and downs when it comes to living together.  And I'm sure there will be more ups and downs in the years to come but we have definitely been more on the up-side than on the down-side.  (I hope Mom would agree.)  

Every now and then someone will ask me if I recommend them moving a parent in with them or vice versa.  I have to say that I'm very careful about recommending it.  The relationship between my mom and I is very unique.  I won't say that we've always had crystal clear communication or that we haven't had our share of arguments but I believe we genuinely have each other's best interests at heart and we are always working toward understanding one another and try to communicate respectfully with each other.   So, for us, it works.

Remember, I was pregnant too so, when you add in the fact that I had super-charged emotions, it really is quite a miracle that we didn't kill each other that first year!  ; )  Several times people asked me if I was ready to have a fourth baby (I think they all thought we were crazy).   This was my reply, "I feel like I'm in the front seat of a roller coaster and we're headed up that steep climb to the top of the first big drop off.  I have my hands in the air in anticipation BUT  I'm NOT buckled in!   We'll just see if I fall out!"  I was excited but you just never know what it will be like until you go through a particular experience for yourself.  Going from 2 to 3 kids had been a breeze but that didn't mean it would go so smoothly this time.

Landon was born in February, just before Mom's birthday!  Now we had three sons and one daughter and we felt truly complete.  Brian and I felt like everyone in our family had arrived now.  Done.  Fini. Suddenly it felt like A  LOT of people were in this house!  And there were!  We had gone from a family of 5 to a family of 7 in less than 6 months.

Landon was my happy baby.  Cameron had been kind of a serious baby.  Parker had been a sad baby.  Anna was  a funny baby.  But Landon was happy.  And so were we.

We went on two small family vacations this year.  In the summer we went to Lake Hartwell and stayed in a flea-bitten cabin for a few days.

In the fall we went with our friends, the Banks family, to his parents' house on the swamp.  And I passed a kidney stone.  I've given birth to 3 out of 4 of my children with no drugs and no epidural and none of those experiences made me think I was going to die.  The kidney stone made me think I was dying.  Fun.  Thanks, Bill and Juli, for taking care of my babies while Brian rushed me to the hospital.

We were approaching our tenth anniversary and I was sure to "warn" Brian that we had better do something big to celebrate or I was going to be sorely disappointed!   Dinner and no gift was not going to cut it this year!

We decided we were definitely going on a kid-free vacation this year.  Just the two of us.  I was still working part-time at the church and started saving every single penny toward our trip and Brian was matching my contribution.  Brian narrowed it down to three possible destinations and we settled on The Florida Keys as the perfect getaway.

Next to taking care of four kids and the house, that trip was all I thought about for a year!!!

And BOY was it ever the perfect vacation!!!  We very cheaply (via Spirit Air) flew into Fort Lauderdale, rented a convertible and drove from Miami to Key West over the course of 5 days.  We stayed  one night in the Pelican Cove Resort & Marina (I think) on Islamorada, Tranquility Bay Beachfront Hotel and Resort on Marathon and and two nights in Parmer's Resort on Big Pine Key.   We spent lazy days on the gorgeous, nearly vacant beach at Bahia Honda State Park and marveled at star saturated skies at night.  We were introduced to lobster reuben sandwiches and chocolate covered, frozen key lime pie on a stick!

So, with smiles on our faces and lobster and key lime pie in our bellies we celebrated our TENTH anniversary!

What did we learn during our tenth year?

• Personal Boundaries are Healthy - everyone needs space and you need to communicate what your needs are with one another to keep the peace.  Mutual respect - it's a beautiful thing!
• We Had a Limit - We had always wanted four children and I believe God had made that the desire of our hearts and then He fulfilled it.  I think He gives some people a limit and to some He doesn't and we definitely reached our limit with four. 
• Paying Cash for a Vacation is so Freeing! - We had saved up enough money to do exactly what we wanted and we stayed within our budget and had nothing to pay for once we got home! 
• Time Alone as a Couple is Vital - Being together as a family is great but if you don't take time for just the two of you then you're really missing out.   Our pastor recommends this formula:  Dialog Daily, Date Weekly, Depart Quarterly.  We don't get to take a date every week and we don't get to get away quarterly but we try to get in a date at least twice a month and at least one departure each year (even if it's just overnight).

Brian's post - click here.

Our Story - Year Five

Cameron was such an easy baby.  We were basically doing the same things we did before his arrival except that now we had an adorable little bundle to tote around.    We could take him out to eat and if it was nap time then he would sleep in his carrier.  He would take a bottle so I didn't have to worry about always having a discreet place to nurse him and that meant that Brian and I could leave him for a few hours and even overnight with grandparents on date nights.  It was just such an easy transition for us to go from zero kids to one kid.

So, I've said it before, but we figured we might as well start trying to have a second baby.   We stopped any prevention in December 2001 and were pregnant by mid January 2002!   Wow!  We weren't expecting that!  But we were thrilled none-the-less. 

Because Cameron was so laid back and I was having another easy pregnancy (exercise during pregnancy is a wonderful thing! and made a huge difference in my back issues) we went on a few more trips that year.

In March we went to Fort Lauderdale/Miami and, naturally, took Cameron with us.   We wanted to stay in the Art Deco district of Miami but the hotel we chose was very noisy and had a band playing at eleven o'clock at night out in the courtyard just below our window.  After an hour of listening to that noise and not being able to sleep I asked Brian if we could please find another hotel.   So he drove down the street a little ways and got us a room at The Westin.  He told the girl at check in that he wanted "the quietest room they had".  And boy did they deliver!  Instead of  a playpen like the other hotel had provided The Westin had a beautiful little crib for Cameron and those "Heavenly Beds" live up to their names!   But at more than $300 a night we could only afford to stay there one night and ended up moving once again to the Marriott for half the price and nearly as nice!  In spite of all the moving around it was a wonderful little vacation.

In May we went to New York to visit Brian's sister.  It was remarkable that they had gotten so much cleaned up in just 7 short months and that the city just seemed to be moving right along like it always had.  It was my first time in the city and so we did quite a few of the typical touristy things but with an insider's point of view and a free place to stay!  The highlight of our visit was running into Liza Minelli in a Central Park restaurant and she played This Little Piggy with Cameron's toes!  She really is quintessential New York, isn't she?  And lovely!!!

For both trips we had Delta "buddy passes" graciously donated by friends which meant having to fly stand-by.  Going from Atlanta to Fort Lauderdale - No problem.   Fort Lauderdale back home - I had to fly with Cameron by myself and Brian ended up having to wait until the next flight.   Atlanta to New York - wasn't gonna happen; that flight was WAY overbooked!  We ended up looking up alternate routes and flew into D.C. and took the shuttle to NYC.   New York to Atlanta - No problem!   Kind of a pain in the neck but worth it to save several hundred dollars.

We had a wonderful summer and celebrated Cameron's 1st birthday and we were doing all the things young couples do: Brian was working hard and doing well and we were taking care of our new home and spending time with friends and family.

One Saturday afternoon,  Brian came in from mowing the lawn and told me he would like to go hear Pastor Johnny preach the next day at First Baptist Woodstock.  I had gone there when I was in college (my mom and step-dad were still there) and that was where we had gotten married.  

About a week later Brian told me that he felt like God wanted us to join FBCW and to be involved in what was going on there.  The problem with this was FBCW was an hour away.  If we wanted to be actively involved we would have to live closer.  Brian had a good job and we didn't foresee that changing but living close enough to church and to work would mean living in Atlanta.   And the cost of living in Atlanta was significantly higher than in McDonough!

Very shortly after we started going to Woodstock, some issues started brewing at Brian's office.  For one thing, due to some changes in a particular insurance company, it looked like the practice may lose about a 1/3 of its patients.  With three doctors there, we felt like maybe that was Brian's third.  That God was saying it was time to leave.    Especially since there were some other problems lurking beneath the surface about how the billing was being done.  We decided that maybe it was time for Brian to open up his own office there in Woodstock and so we  started taking steps in that direction in the fall.

We wanted to be honest and open with Brian's boss about our plans.  Brian shared with him what was going on and Doc said that it was all good and that he would not make any announcements about Brian leaving until everything was more certain and that Brian would continue to be given new patients and work there until Brian's new office was ready.

But he did not keep his word about any of these things.   Instead he started telling patients about Brian leaving and Brian got fewer and fewer new patients.  But we were not anywhere near ready for a move!   We hadn't sold our house, a business plan still needed to be written, a loan procured and we didn't have a location for an office or any of these things; we were still many, many months away from being able to open to up.

And we now had four mouths to feed!  Parker was born in October and was colicky and fussy.  Poor little thing.  His parents were stressed out and I think he felt it all.

The next month we had our fifth anniversary and we weren't sure what the next year would look like at all.

What did we learn during our fifth year?:

• When traveling on buddy passes be creative - Don't just sit around watching flights leave because there aren't enough available seats.  Look at different routes and make it happen yourself because sometimes airline employees won't take the time to do this for you (imagine that!).
• When Liza Minelli asks if she can play with your baby say Yes! -  and then ask politely if you may take her picture and if she seems hesitant because she doesn't have on make-up be sure to tell her how beautiful she is even without it!
• Children are different- No two are alike in the exact same ways.   Accept those changes for what they are and adapt to them and love the differences.
• Be Careful! - When your husband comes in from mowing the lawn and he has "that look" in his eye and you know an idea is getting stirred up in his brain, hold on tight!  You may be in for a bumpy ride!
• Support Each other - And when the situation starts to get a little ugly, trust his judgment and tell him that you do.  When push comes to shove you're still on the same team.   

Brian's post - click here.

Last Travel Post - Singapore

Well, here we are!  The last post about my trip!  

Okay.  Okay.  You can stop applauding. 

Welcome to Singapore!  Well, at least the tiny little portion I saw.  We were only here for 10 hours and we were sleeping during 5 of those hours so I don't have much to show you.  You will just have to go there yourself one day and then maybe you can tell me what it's really like.

It is a beautiful city!   They take many more chances architecturally than we do here in the States and each building, whether it's a mall, a museum or a government building, is unique and interesting to look at.  

It's also a very clean city.  There are many rules and regulations that keep it this way.  One of the laws is that it is illegal to sell gum here.  They don't want anyone sticking a nasty, chewed piece of gum under a table or on a light post or dropping it on the ground to get stuck to someone's shoe.  It's not illegal, however, to chew gum.   So, we made sure our taxi driver, Michael, got a whole unopened pack of chewing gum to take home!

We followed this sweet couple for several blocks and he kept his arm around her shoulder and the umbrella over her head the whole time even though it was barely sprinkling.  

 I'm kind of considering doing this to my hair in the spring!  Well, maybe not the WHOLE thing but wouldn't a lock this color look good over my eye or tucked behind my ear?  We'll see.

 We went to a Swiss restaurant called Marche' for dinner.  They have crepe stations and meat stations and stations for freshly squeezed juice and on and on and on!  It is DELICIOUS!  Every bit of it.  I wish we had one here in Atlanta.

 Starbucks looks and feels the same everywhere, doesn't it?

This was our view from our room at the YMCA-Singapore.  Now, I don't highly recommend staying there  if you're going on vacation but it was quiet and clean and served our needs.  And our needs were to keep our budget low and to get at least a few hours of shut-eye before having to be up at 3 a.m. so we could catch our flight at 5 a.m..  Bags just  suddenly developed under my eyes as I typed that.

It was a really wonderful trip and I feel very privileged and blessed that I was able to go.  I went and spent time with a very dear, very close friend and her family and I made some new dear friends while I was there.   Now I know better how to pray for each one of them.  I've seen them cook in ovens so small I don't think my head would fit in it.   I know that each day a fruit bat poops on my friend's washing machine and obviously it has to be cleaned before she can use it to wash clothes.   Now I know from experience that the traffic is horrendous and that the cops can be crooked.  Now I've smelled what she smells, I've sweated like she's sweated (maybe a little more; I sweat a lot.  Sorry TMI) and I've seen what she sees and I've been where she's been.

And I can't wait to go back and do it all again.

 

You Capture - Animals

I wasn't sure how to post this first set of pictures.  There are so many of them.  They didn't fit under any of my other categories for my posts about my recent trip.  

But then!   Beth announced that this week's theme was "Animals"!  I took these the week before she announced our assignment but I also made sure to take some pictures this week of the animals that live in this house.   .... And I'm not talking about my children! 

I even took some pictures of animals at Landon's preschool on Farm Day!  My animal photo taking opportunities have been abundant and varied!  Soooo....First up!!!....

Wild monkeys roaming freely in their natural habitat...

An island resort just south of Singapore!

 This guy was the first one we saw that morning.  He was at the top of that pole and came sliding down and sat on the roof as we approached.

This guy ...gal...guy (do you tend to think of monkeys as being male?  I do.) ...was eating a coconut.

 I stopped taking pictures of "him" when the thought occurred to me that he might just throw that coconut on my little head.  Hey!  It's not every day I get to see a monkey roaming around and not in a cage at Zoo Atlanta.  So, I was taking a lot of pictures!

Another one!

And OOOOH!  LOOK!  BABIES!!!

I love the monkey trying to sneak up and steal the older one's breakfast!

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Onto domestic animals.   Dogs are gross.  They lick themselves all slurpily and they chew on their own feet and they eat bugs and they smell other dogs' poo and other dogs' butts...

This is exactly why I said I would rather be reincarnated as a house cat.

 GiGi thinks Angel is gross too.

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And last but not least...

Farm animals!

 Landon was most intrigued by all the animals' tails and I'm very surprised and very pleased that he didn't end up with any ...ahem!..."presents" on his shoes.

Go check out You Capture (click on the button) to see more animal pics!

A Dozen

To change up my recent travel posts so all 3 of you don't get bored, I'm going to throw in 2nd Cup of Coffee's Random Dozen questions along with some random, albeit beautiful, pictures I took while on the trip.  How do ya like that for tootin' my own horn?  heehee

1. Is there a word which you initially mispronounced?  Were the circumstances which you made the faux pas embarrassing?  

Hmmm...I can't think of any right off.  However, when we were kids and riding in the car, sometimes I would say, "Ham on game!"  instead of  "Hang on, gang!" which is what my dad used to say to us if we had to stop quickly.  But, no, I'm not embarrassed to reveal this.  After all, I was only 4 years old. ; )

2. How do you feel about the use of texting shortcuts and trends? (ex.: "I've got ur notes.  Get them 2 u 2morow?")  

I'm indifferent.  i use some txtng shrtcts but i thnk it cld get cnfusng if u used m 2 often.  And I try to avoid miscommunications as much as humanly possible.

And here's an example just from this morning (after I had already published this post):
Background:  My birthday is tomorrow and Brian has the day off and wanted to know what I want to do - Here are our texts back and forth about this subject.

Me:  Birthday plan - drop off L at school, brkfst, High museum for Dali exhibit
Brian: Bet
Me: Bet?
Brian: low, ok
Me: What is low?
Brian: In other words
Me: (realizing that my phone's capital i's look like lower case l's)
Brian: low, im wichu
Me: My capital i's look like lower case l's.
Brian: Not my fault
Me: Ahem
Brian: low, i love you

Of course, I'm substituting his upper-case i's with lower-case l's so you can basically see what I was seeing.

3. Tell me about your high school senior picture. Please feel free to post.

Ugh.  Must I?  Mushroom hair.  'Nuf said.  And they misspelled my name in the yearbook.  But, then again, nearly everyone misspells my name and I'm used to it by now and it doesn't bug me.

4. How funny!  There isn't a number four!  Let's see if I can think of one... 

Gosh!  I got nothin'.

5. Share a high school or college homecoming memory.

Homecoming was usually kind of uneventful.  I do remember not knowing if I was going to go to the Homecoming dance my senior year and I decided to go and ended up borrowing a dress from a friend or my cousin and going solo. My mom dropped me off (no car of my own) and since I was "unattached" was able to dance with whomever I pleased.   I was much more interested in watching my friends play in the football game beforehand and checking out what the Homecoming court was wearing and who would win the crown.

6. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets?

Sunsets.  I'm not what you'd call a "morning person".

7. What is something that you have not done that you desire to do?

Go to Italy.

8. If you could come back (in another life) as an animal, which would it be?

A house cat.

9. Where were you 10 years ago?  Please feel free to elaborate more than just your physical location.

Weekend of my birthday October 2000?  I was at a Dress as Famous Couples Halloween party dressed as Sonny Bono and Brian was dressed as Cher.  Naturally, because he's taller and does a mean impression of Cher tossing her hair over her shoulder.  He can even do it without hair on his head! .... He's such a good sport!

10. When you are proven to be correct in a contentious discussion, do you gloat?

I try not to engage in contentious discussions.  But, IF I'm proven to be correct, (which would be rare) then I don't gloat.  I just  bite my lip and smile a lot on the inside.

11. What is your favorite food which includes the ingredient "caramel"?

Caramello candy bars

12. If you could be part of any fictional family, which family would you choose and why?

I don't want any family but my own.    Awwww...

Day 5 - Fishing Village

A very bumpy, very holey road took us to a fishing village on the fifth day of our trip.  I think this was my favorite day because we got to stay and chat via translator with some very sweet ladies and some curious fishermen.  One of the women said she would like to come to the U.S. with me to be my helper since I have 4 children but one of the other ladies reminded her that she would miss her own children if she did that!   It reminded me how blessed I am to have my mom living right here with me and how thankful I was that she was at home helping Brian while I was away!  Thanks, Mom!  I couldn't have gone on this trip if it weren't for you!

 I mistakenly thought this little guy was about 5 years old but he was actually 8 and in the 2nd grade!  

Same as my Parker Bear!

This Chinese gentleman reminded me so much of my Grandpa - they're the same age also. 

This beautiful chinese woman took a picture of she and I together with her phone (arm stretched out style) and now I am on her facebook page somewhere!  I wish I had gotten her name.

The ice cream man!  Music playing from his motorcyle and all.

This woman was so funny!  Three of us had walked through a little restaurant/home/store to use the "squatty potty"  in the backyard.   The squatty potty was in a tiny concrete building and the roof is kind of openly attached (?) - basically there's a space between the top of the wall and where the roof starts.  I said, "Selamat siang.  Apa kabar?" (Good day.  How are you?) and so ,naturally, she thought I spoke her language and began jabbering away at me.  Unfortunately my language ability is limited to about 5 phrases and I had not a clue what she was saying.  Our friend that does speak the language was in the squatty potty at the time and she began translating and talking to this sweet woman from the bathroom!  I just smiled and nodded.

Once we were done with our "potty talk" we took our very spicy "take-out" food, wrapped in banana leaves and a paper bag, to the beach.  The beach is down a very long, very narrow road.  You have to go over two miniscule bridges to get there.  On the first bridge a man was doing repairs.  There was a huge hole on one side and he was filling it with sand and a wooden board.  We had to precariously squeeze past his construction project to get to the other side.   The second bridge is so steep going up that all you see is sky and can't see the other side.  Or if anyone else is trying to come across from the other direction! 

But we made it safely across both bridges and found this waiting for us on the other side.

It was such a wonderful day and I really hope to go back in a couple years!