Listening

Was reading a post today by fat mum slim.  In the post she wonders why her mother doesn't read her blog.  At the end of the post, she asked if your parents read your blog or are on facebook.  The responses were sadly revealing. 

Most people responded that if they do have a blog that their parents, friends and/or spouses don't read it.  Most expressed that they wished these important people did read what they write.  And a few told how much it meant to them when their loved ones let them know they were reading.

How sad that most of us who are writing in blogs or jotting in journals are doing so and not being heard by the people that matter most to us.  If you write, you write to be heard, yes?  You have something to say... don't we all?  Who is listening?  Who is paying attention?  And, even if you have a blog, are you able to openly express your feelings or do you feel prohibited from approaching certain topics, expressing your emotions, giving your opinion?  And how sad is it that we feel a need to send our thoughts out into the World Wide Web because we can't do so at home?  Looking for feedback, encouragement, like-minded individuals, acceptance, recognition, someone who is really listening without interrupting, ...._____________.  Fill in your blank.

We're all so terribly, terribly busy.  We don't stop to pay attention...to hear.  

Stop. 

Listen. 

Who is talking to you today?

My beginning... or what I know of it.

I was born in the fall of 1975 in Ann Arbor, Michigan.  My mother, a student of UofM, her higher education postponed.  She was but 19, my father merely 20.  My features are nearly a 50/50 mix of each of them.  God's handiwork.  I've been told we lived in a small apartment and briefly a farmhouse. 

We moved to Virginia when my dad joined the Army.  He was a cook.  He's always been a very good cook.  Something he got honestly from both of his parents.  We lived on base for awhile and my first memory is of us moving into The Blue House.  An empty living room and I remarked, "It smells like popcorn."  My brothers were born in Virginia.  My own hillbillies.  I don't remember life without them and glad that I don't.  Paul is only 14 months younger than I and Stephen only 16 months younger than Paul.  My mom was 22 and our family was complete.

The Blue House.  Fetch it Freddy.  The little girl neighbor next door not letting me leave once - blocking each door as I tried to get out.  An enormous tomato bug on my shirt - scared me nearly to death!  Miss Fisher, my preschool teacher.  Getting to play the triangle in class.  Taking cupcakes on my birthday.  These are my early memories.

We returned to Michigan - Detroit to be exact - maybe when I was four.  We lived with my dad's parents for just a little while (though I may have the timing messed up here).  I remember looking at a second floor apartment - above a store? I remember a bright light (neon?) - outside the window.  Then there was The Brown House and Danny and Dana (twin boys) and their boa constrictor across the street.  Pinocchio at the movies and an enormous rainbow lollipop.  The tire swing park and the ice skating rink.  The next-door neighbors had a great big fish tank.

Then The Pink House - pale pink brick - the only house I remember living in in Michigan that had carpet.  Shouldn't all houses in northern states have carpet?  It's so cold!  Mom making homemade pizzas with Chef Boyardee sauce and we got to spread it with a spoon and sprinkle on the cheese and place each pepperoni.  Fourth of July and those little white popping firecrackers you throw on the ground and the black snake things that left a burn mark on the sidewalk.  Eating cold Kentucky Fried Chicken and watching the fireworks light up the black sky over the Detroit River - hating the noise.  

And then I was five.

11-11-11

Eleven pictures

It was a relaxing day.  Landon home from school "sick" - really he was fine but he had been sick the day before.

For the record, Cameron and Parker do live here but Cameron went to a friend's house to spend the night and Parker Bear was by my side most of the evening.

You Capture - Green

I haven't participated in You Capture in quite awhile but this week's theme was Green and last week we were basking in the sun on Santa Rosa Beach, Florida and I have too many pictures that easily fit in this theme.  There is a reason it is called The Emerald Coast.

We all had a great time at the beach but the kids still like being in the pool better.  Parker, Anna and even Landon improved their swimming so much during this trip.

It wouldn't be a proper vacation without mini-golf....or...

 ...naptime!

 The master bedroom in the house we rent for the week is the brightest shade of lime and makes me immensely happy.

We made it home in time for the Elvis Costello concert. 

He brought fans up to spin a huge wheel to decide which song he would play next and he had this "cage" that his go-go dancer and audience members could dance in.  Elvis is awesome!

Prayers Needed

Yesterday someone asked for an update on Baby Ella.

Ella is in Heaven right now.  She was born and passed on September 8th, 2011. 

Please, friends, pray for her mama and daddy and their older son and daughter.  Their hearts are broken and need healing.  

Paper Therapy

I began writing today.

I've never considered myself as "a writer."   Still don't and probably never will but sometimes, especially in times of deep need, I find myself with pen in hand.  Scribbling and scratching out my emotions.  Ink and paper therapy.

Today I have a paragraph.  Tomorrow, perhaps, there will be more to follow.  Maybe there won't.  But I'm devoting an entire stack of college-ruled paper to an idea and we'll see what becomes of it.

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I wrote this next part over 5 years ago and I've never beat myself up about not writing more than one other entry.  It isn't important to me to MAKE myself write.  I've given myself enough room to not feel obligated to do so.  Writing is for me not the other way 'round.  But I'm glad writing is always there when I need it.

6/27/06

10:50pm

Well, I've never kept a journal before, but here goes.  ...

With a million things running through my brain like what to pack and buy for our vacation next week, who should I call to teach Sunday School for me while we're gone, things I need to do before we leave and things I've told other people I would do and haven't yet - I can't sleep.   Not to mention your daddy is in there snoring away and that never helps.  : )   So, while I'm awake, I should start writing.  Right?

I hope your brothers and sister won't be jealous later on that I didn't keep a journal while pregnant with them.  But since this is, or should be, our last time to be pregnant, I don't want to forget what it was like.  I've really enjoyed being pregnant and am expecting to feel pretty much the same this time around.  I've been blessed with uncomplicated pregnancies and deliveries and each time God has given us a healthy baby at the end.  I am richly blessed.

Tomorrow we have an ultrasound appointment and I'm praying everything is going well.  That you're growing and healthy.

I love you immensely already and we're only about a month and a half into it.  Who are you?  Are you a boy or a girl?  What will you look like?  Will you have brown eyes or blue?  We're planning on not finding out what gender you are but will I be able to wait?  We waited with Cameron but couldn't with Anna & Parker.  I already can hardly wait to meet you.  At least tomorrow I'll see you on the screen and hopefully be able to see your tiny heart beating.  I love you and I'll "see" you tomorrow, baby.

Goodnight.

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My heart is heavy after reading this because I have a friend who desperately needs a miracle for the child she's expecting.  Doctors have expressed their grave concern and prayers are being offered up to The Almighty.  Please remember Baby Ella today and send a petition for peace on her mommy's behalf.